“You’re gonna have to serve somebody; well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord, but you’re gonna have to serve somebody…”  — Bob Dylan

Caving In to the Community Art Council

Okay, so it’s happened again. Three months ago I read a plaintive email from our town council asking for volunteers for a two-year term on the Community Arts Council.  I swelled with civic pride and volunteered on the spot.

Two months passed and I received a letter saying that I had been “elected.” Oh, yay. I won something!  My form letter invitation to serve had all of the charm of a court summons.

I set out in my best arty looking outfit to attend the first Art Council meeting in the musty basement of the community center. I took my place at the paint smeared conference table and introduced myself to the group with the eager expression of a Labrador puppy.

What ensued was akin to placing fresh meat in front of a pack of hungry wolves.  The dedicated men and women charged with spending legacy funds to “further the arts in our community” were more than ready to accept my infusion of new blood.

Within the hour I was over-committed and behind schedule.

I was invited to a miasma of meetings throughout the summer that I had no hope of making.

At home, later that same afternoon, I started receiving a flood of emails, copying absolutely everyone, present or not present, about everything, said or not said; decided or not decided.

I was in deep doo-doo on Day One.

Paving the Way to the Bottomless Pit

Somewhere deep in my crusty co-dependent brain there is a volunteering nodule that is misshapen and oversized. It is the true source of my tendency to lend a hand without sensible limits.

It took me, oh, fifty years or so, to learn that not everyone behaves this way.

You can avoid much of this aggravation by not following my poor example.

Volunteering, like any other human activity, is best served with a heavy dollop of caution and a side order of common sense.

Four Ways to Avoid Boomer Volunteer Burnout

1.  Examine your own true reasons for volunteering your time. Make sure that you are not simply making a “knee jerk” response to a worthy request out of guilt, misplaced ambition or any other muddled motivation.

Ask yourself “for the sake of what” am I doing this?

2.  Check the time requirement in advance. Will you have to prepare ahead of time, attend lots of meetings or commute?

Break out the sharpened pencil and add up the hours required with your other activities. Be prepared to say “not at this time” if you’re already over-committed.

3.  Make sure the assignment is a good match. Think about your key strengths, values, skills and abilities before you volunteer.

For example, if you’re a “numbers person,” then a request for a club treasurer or volunteer tax preparer is likely to be easier to fulfill than weeding public gardens or counseling underprivileged teens.

This is not rocket science, but you’d be surprised at how many people fail to be true to themselves in their choices.

Positive Psychology guru, Dr. Martin Seligman from Penn State University, identified 24 traits that guide our best life decisions. You can take his simple online test, called the VIA Signature Strengths Inventory, here to learn more your own underlying values, key strengths and abilities.

4.  Define the boundaries. As a volunteer you have a right to a clear idea of scope of your involvement. If you can’t tell if you’re at the beginning, middle or end, you’re in trouble.

Set a time frame; say six months, at the end of which you will review your next steps.

Then, give yourself permission to say “no” when you feel your contribution has run its course.

Taking on any assignment indefinitely is usually a recipe for burnout and bad feelings all around.

New Friends With (Soul) Benefits

Volunteering is good for the soul, especially for mature adults with the physical, mental and financial resources to make themselves available to organizations in need.  And it’s a great way to make new friends and build memories with family members.

It is particularly rewarding when your volunteer hours are spent serving people directly – at a food bank packing groceries, serving hot meals at a day center, or helping an adult learn to read.                        

One place that is ripe for matchmaking volunteers with opportunities is www.AARP.com/CreatetheGood.

This website offers visitors a place  “where good people get connected to opportunities to create good, in whatever way works for them.”

With their sophisticated search tools you can choose to become involved for five minutes or five hours…within five blocks or five miles.

Avoiding Volunteer Valhalla

No, not the Valley of slain Norse Gods. I mean a train wreck of well-intentioned, kind-hearted boomers who no longer have the stomach for volunteering despite having the time, skills, and resources.

What do you say? Set your own volunteering goals and boundaries, then pick up the phone and say “yes” with an open heart.

Everyone who is ready to volunteer, raise your hand…and comment please.

Tags: baby boomer, co-dependence, learning, volunteer burnout